Thoughts from a Car

You probably should start by ignoring the bit at the beginning about me trying to get this released before the end of July. Of last year. Yeah, it didn't happen. Something funky happened w/ the audio, and I was too distraught/lazy to fix it before the end of the month, then my wife returned from Europe and the school semester started and all sorts of things got in the way. BUT! I found an earlier version of the audio, cleaned it all up, and prepared it for your listening pleasure. I'm trying something new, too, to cut down on the noise of the road, so let me know what you think. Otherwise, this episode includes rants about RedBox, specifically those who rented The Town before I did.

Gah! I almost missed it! But this marks the eigth episode that I've released regularly every month. Well, they've been released every month. They haven't necessarily been released consistently within the month, but give me a break. There was an episode released in May, this one in June, and there will be another in July. That's consistent!
In this, the final BMR ReCast, we ReViewed Hawk the Slayer. This one was definitely worthwhile. Our review kind of makes it sound boring, but that's because we were just so...shocked by the level at which this movie sucked. Completely taken aback. It's a good time, so find it on Netflix -- or the internet, somewhere -- and enjoy.

I'm convinced that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the galaxy with the answers that we seek and the capabilities to ensure humanity's comfort for millenia, but they're keeping their distance from us because they keep catching reruns of "Jersey Shore" and they keep hearing people say "two-thousand ten" and "two-thousand eleven" and decide we need a few more centuries to mature. They conclude that if we don't talk like it's the future, then we shouldn't get the benefits of living in the future...

In this, the second-to-last ReCast, we reviewed (ReViewed?) the late-80's, sci-fi, alien martial-arts classic Arena starring a couple throwaways from Babylon 5 and Star Trek. To summarize our review, I say you shouldn't go looking for it; it'll most likely be quite difficult to find, and not worth your time. If you have a random chance to see it, though, it's a well spent hour-and-a-half.

There are only a few things that I don't like. One, I don't enjoy a bad movie that doesn't try hard enough. That's just a boring movie, and thoroughly unenjoyable. Two, don't say your Reuben is on rye when it's CLEARLY on pumpernickel! I know that pumpernickel is a type of rye, but come on. We're not idiots. Rye bread is always dark. Pumpernickel is also dark, sometimes. You gave me bread that is not dark. Whatever. And three, keep your f***ing hands out of my pants. Unless I want them there. But if you're not buying me a 19-ounce ribeye or depositing a fifty in my g-string (that's right, I don't accept bills smaller than fifty; deal with it), then keep your sweaty paws off me, you damn, dirty agents! Strap in for a raucous TSA rant.

If I could add a subtitle to this episode (and it's not really "if I could" but, rather, "if I weren't so lazy then I would...") it would be "The Glow." I don't know how many times that's repeated and replayed in this episode, but it's a lot. And it's fantastic. Allow me to present to you our review of the martial-arts classic The Last Dragon. This movie was full of awesome. It had glowing hands, bad/unnecessary dancing, and Lord Bowler. (In listening to the review, I was reminded that William H. Macy makes an appearance, but it's been so long since I've seen the movie, that I don't actually remember that happening. But I trust my previous self.) Listen, watch, and enjoy!

I could summarize my hatred in two words. Well, one word and one contraction, really, so if it came down to it, I could only claim to summarizing my feelings in three full words: it's unimportant. Well, if someone came up to me, and said "Why do you hate Facebook?" I could say "Its unimportance" and THAT'S only two words. So yeah, I can explain my opinion of Facebook in two words. There used to be a purpose to Facebook. It was a "social network," a way to connect to people that share your same interests and, in some cases, history and experience. To reconnect with people from your past. Now it's...a strange, horrifying beast that has no idea what it's doing, or where it's going. It's as bad as a drive to Orem.

Our review of the Bad Movie Plan 9 from Outer Space, by Ed Wood. Words cannot describe the sheer anguish we felt at having to watch this movie for our review. It was like a long, boring root-canal. Without anaesthetic. Performed by Carl Sagan. In a word, it was strange. After watching it, then watching it again with Mike Nelson (of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and RiffTrax fame), we concluded that it really doesn't deserve to be watched by anyone. Ever. But listening to our review of it is pretty good; it's more entertaining than the movie itself, by far. Watching with the Mike Nelson commentary was pretty good, too.

I'm not completely pleased w/ the audio on this recording. The cord kept swinging into the microphone, occasionally causing an annoying popping sound.
Also, the more I think about it, the more I conclude that there could be a lot of aspects to the game that set Diablo III apart from Diablo II. Perhaps the dev teams decided not to focus so much on the classes and enhance other areas of the game and gameplay, and only make the smallest of changes to the classes. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself. No matter what else they do, though, dual-crossbows are kitchy and lame.
I get pretty worked up (over nothing) and I didn't take the time to bleep out the cursings. And I cut out some of the umm's and pauses, but not all of them. Woops.
Corrections: Diablo was released in 1997, not 1995; Quest for Glory had five games in the series, not four; Diablo II was released in 2000; Grace Jones, not Grace Kelly.

I am impressed that I recorded something, and then actually DID something w/ it. Boy, sticking to a task until its completion is hard work! For ten minutes or so, I talk about that, and why we as humans – generally – and why I as a writer – specifically – have such a difficult time with it. (Spoiler: it's because we're lazy!!)

Look at that, another episode of me not actually recording anything. The intro I got from some sounds I downloaded from the internet (don't ask me from where I retrieved them, because I don't remember) and just some cuts from another episode I did previously. My laziness has reached epic levels. It's not that I don't record episodes, it's just that I never post them. Seriously, I probably recorded five or six...thoughts? from my car, but never did anything with them. Soon, I pray, I'll get passed the first step and actually save what I record. In any case, this is a review of Slayer, a Sci-Fi original movie. I know what you're thinking. "Sci-fi original movie starring Casper Van Dien? How could you lose?!" Luckily for you, we did. We lost big time. Enjoy!

This is a recast of an episode of a podcast a friend of mine and I had a few years ago. We watch TERRIBLE movies, and make fun of them -- not a la Mystery Science Theater, mind you; we mock AFTER we watch -- and just have a good time. This episode, we watched Uwe Boll's "House of the Dead." Also, I referred to myself as "The Bonerbot" at the end. This was a nickname I had briefly after high school that stemmed from my previous nickname "Bones" or "Boner" because I was so skinny. That's not really true, but it's logical and it makes more sense than the REAL reason.
I should explain also that I was using my iPod mic attachment instead of my digital voice recorder to record the intro and outro, but put an audio file between them with higher quality. I had a bear of a time trying to get it converted into an MP3, but eventually I got it working. My recorded stuff still doesn't sound that great, but it's there.

Lookie! Shownotes, as promised! Imma have to re-listen to what I recorded because I can't remember exactly what I promised in the shownotes, so this may change.
All of my podcasts: Good enough for a first run of shownotes, no? I'll get better as time and episodes progress until this is an effective tool to use to describe each episode of Thoughts From a Car. Oh, and I also rant against "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" for a few minutes.

This is where I'm going to put shownotes, at some point in the future. In this episode, I talk about books, music, politics and how to avoid ass-hattery as an employer.